Monthly Basis
  1. 🧑
It's wonderful to meet you stranger. Thank you for stumbling across my blog and taking interest. I'm Courtney. A 30-year-old woman who has a very troubled soul. I suppose we all do. I guess that's why I wanted to start this. Someone to relate to and a place to go to not be alone. I've had a lot of negative experiences in my life and yet I've still managed to survive. I'm sure I'll get into them the more I go on this. At this time I am living with a diagnosis of Bipolar Type 2, ADHD, and a Binge Eating Disorder. I have been in and out of therapy for years and find it helps, but I have a bad habit of not sticking with it. I am not on any medication for my disorders, but question on occasion if I should be.

I am a writer, although it's not my full time job, it is my passion. From poetry to short stories to novels. The biggest thing I'm currently working on is a movie script. For my "normal" job I work in the transportation industry, I honestly hate it and wish I could find a job I truly enjoy. On the flip side of that I'm grateful that I have a job. Some days I wonder if I have a job out of a need to survive. Actually, I know that's why. If I was able to do things I love and make money, I would drop my job in a heart beat just to find happiness. I'm sure so many feel the same.

Working is exceptionally hard on someone with a mental disorder. We have to fight to pretend we are engaged with co-workers and clients while inside we are screaming. There is also a high level of anxiety to be dealt with. I am constantly worried that I am going to get fired. I could be doing amazingly and I'd still worry I'm about to be fired. I'm very quiet at work unless I absolutely HAVE to be engaged. My boss makes me so anxious and I feel like I'm always in trouble or she doesn't like me even if it's not true.

I digress. I'll dive further into it all in time. For now I wanted to do a quick sort of hello and let you know who I am and what I will be writing about. Don't be surprised if some of these blogs include poetry or (bad) art. I enjoy sharing those things with others. For now, it's wonderful to meet you and look for new posts soon!




October 1, 2018, 5:00pm